Bird Dropping Nightmare

I really have no idea what the heck do these birds eat these days but it frustrates me every time this comes to my attention.

  

With all due respect, I love nature and all of God's greatest creation but what have done to deserve a 'baked' piece of bird crap on the surface of my ride? And when I say 'baked' I meant baked! The brown stuff was literally stuck to the paintwork and took me some 5 minutes to have it dissolved with water. What's worse is that the acidity on these things etch into the top coat under the sun and leave a mark that is perhaps only removable by machine polish. By hand, my efforts were futile. 

So thanks for everything my feathered friend and fancy leaving brown crap on my ride. You might as well make a gingerbread man out of your brown crap and leave it smiling on the top of my bonnet. Seriously, I would like to catch that old pecker and drown it in my piss.